Heather
Needing an audience, talking mostly about yourself and dreading being alone
What it feels like
Being on your own is genuinely hard, so you fill the space with people and with talking. You corner someone at a party and tell them about your week in detail, and you can sometimes feel them looking for an exit without quite being able to stop. Conversations come back round to you, not out of arrogance but because your own troubles are pressing and you need someone to hear them. Afterwards you often replay it and wince. The painful part is the loop it creates. The more you need company, the more people quietly avoid it, and the lonelier you become.
Signs you might need it
- You find being alone genuinely difficult
- Conversations often come back round to your own situation
- You talk at length about your worries to whoever is nearby
- You notice people making excuses to move away
- You dislike silence and fill it quickly
- You feel worse rather than better after talking it all out
What it helps with
You become a listener as well as a talker. Traditionally it is associated with turning that real interest in people outwards, which tends to bring the company you were looking for in the first place.
Not to be confused with
Chicory, which also wants attention but gives in order to get it, with strings attached. Heather simply needs someone to listen. Water Violet is the exact opposite, comfortable alone and keeping others at arm's length.
Those who are always seeking the companionship of anyone who may be available, as they find it necessary to discuss their own affairs with others, no matter whom. They are very unhappy if they have to be alone for any length of time.
The plant
Ling heather, the plant that colors whole moors purple in late summer. It grows in dense stands and rarely alone, thriving on poor acid ground where little else will keep it company.
How to take it
The usual way is two drops from the stock bottle into a small glass of water, sipped through the day. If you are mixing several remedies, put two drops of each into a 30ml bottle of spring water and take four drops from that, four times a day.
There is no need to time it around meals, and you can take it as often as you like. Most people give it two weeks before deciding whether it is doing anything. The full guide to taking them covers mixing bottles, timing and the alcohol question.
Often mixed up with Heather
Often taken alongside
Common questions
These are about Heather. The questions about the remedies in general, alcohol, children, timing, live in the FAQ.
Is Heather an unkind remedy to suggest to someone?
It can land badly if handled carelessly, so it is usually better chosen for yourself than pointed at someone else. The quality underneath it is a real warmth toward people and a real need for connection, which is nothing to be ashamed of.
What is the difference between Heather and Chicory?
Heather wants to be heard. Chicory wants to be needed. Chicory gives generously and expects something back, while Heather simply talks and hopes someone stays.
Is Heather good for loneliness?
It is the choice for the particular kind of loneliness that comes from finding your own company hard. If you feel lonely but are content by yourself and simply keep people at a distance, Water Violet fits better.
Not sure Heather is the one?
Choosing works by recognizing yourself in a description, so if this one only half fits, it is worth seeing what else comes up. The quiz narrows all 38 in about a minute, and the loneliness group holds the nearest neighbors.
Where to buy Heather
Bach remedies are widely stocked. If you are buying online, check the bottle says Heather and comes in the standard 20ml stock size.
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