Chicory vs Heather
Chicory gives and Heather talks. Both want people close, but one does it with rides and dinners and a small hurt silence, and the other by filling the room with words.
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Why they get muddled
Both need other people badly, and in both the need is what drives people away, which is the cruel part of each. Neither is arrogant or calculating, whatever it looks like from outside. What separates them is currency: one trades in care, the other in conversation.
The differences
What you offer
Chicory
Care, and a great deal of it. Rides, dinners, remembering everything.
Heather
Company, and a full account of your week.
What you want back
Chicory
For them to stay close, and to notice what you have done.
Heather
To be listened to. Nothing more complicated than that.
When you do not get it
Chicory
A comment about how long it has been, or a hurt silence everyone can hear.
Heather
More talking, and afterwards, replaying it and wincing.
How people drift off
Chicory
They start keeping a small distance, which hurts sharply.
Heather
They look for an exit while you are still speaking.
Which one to pick
Choose Chicory if
- From the inside it feels like caring, and you suspect it lands as a bill
- You remember everything they forget, and you mention it
- The affection is completely genuine, which is what makes the distance so painful
Choose Heather if
- You cornered somebody at a party and told them about your week in detail
- Conversations come back round to you and you cannot quite stop it
- Being on your own is genuinely hard
What if both sound right?
They can show up in the same person at different times, particularly after a loss, when a need for company arrives alongside a need to be needed. Where they part is what you would miss most: somebody to look after, or somebody to talk to.
Common questions
These both read harshly. Is that fair?
They are two of the bluntest entries in the 38, and it is worth remembering they are written to be recognized rather than to be applied to anybody. Both describe a real need for closeness that has started working against itself, and the traditional positive of each is warm: giving freely, and being easy company.
Which one is for loneliness?
Heather sits in Bach's loneliness group and describes the version where being alone is genuinely hard, so you fill the space with people and with talking. Chicory is in over-care, and the loneliness in it is more specific: the fear that the people you love will not stay close.
What about Red Chestnut?
Red Chestnut is the other remedy people confuse with Chicory, and the difference is what you want back. Red Chestnut worries about the people it loves and wants nothing in return, which is what makes it easier to live with. Chicory's care arrives with conditions attached, even when nobody meant to attach them.
Keep narrowing
The pairs closest to this one, if neither of these two turns out to be it.
White ChestnutvsRed Chestnut
The names are one word apart and the states have almost nothing to do with each other. White Chestnut is your own thoughts going round. Red Chestnut is fear for somebody else.
BeechvsVine
Beech criticizes and Vine decides. If you notice everything and say nothing, that is Beech. If you notice everything and reorganize it, that is Vine.
AgrimonyvsCentaury
Both say yes when they mean no. Agrimony does it to keep the peace and hide what is really going on. Centaury does it because refusing feels impossible.
AgrimonyvsWater Violet
Agrimony is a mask and Water Violet is not. If there is something underneath that you are keeping light, that is Agrimony. If there is nothing underneath and you simply do not share, that is Water Violet.
Still not sure?
Read both profiles in full, or start from the feeling and let the quiz narrow it for you.