Agrimony vs Water Violet
Agrimony is a mask and Water Violet is not. If there is something underneath that you are keeping light, that is Agrimony. If there is nothing underneath and you simply do not share, that is Water Violet.
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Why they get muddled
Both keep their troubles to themselves, so from outside they can look the same. Both also get read wrong by other people: one is assumed to be fine, the other is assumed to be aloof. The question that separates them is whether the privacy is costing you anything.
The differences
What is behind it
Agrimony
Something genuinely worrying, which you have decided nobody else needs to carry.
Water Violet
Nothing in particular. You handle your own problems and always have.
How you come across
Agrimony
Good company. You make the joke and everybody believes you.
Water Violet
Capable, and slightly unapproachable, without anybody quite knowing why.
What quiet feels like
Agrimony
The hardest part of the day, which is why it so often gets filled.
Water Violet
Fine. Being on your own is genuinely comfortable.
What it costs
Agrimony
The worry does not go anywhere. It waits.
Water Violet
You do not ask for help even when you could use some.
Which one to pick
Choose Agrimony if
- You say you are fine and you are convincing
- Confrontation feels unbearable, so you smooth things over
- The quiet moments are the ones you avoid
Choose Water Violet if
- You are genuinely content on your own
- You would rather not be drawn into other people's dramas
- Self-sufficiency stopped being a choice at some point and became the only way you know
What if both sound right?
This is one of the pairs where getting it right matters more than covering both, since they rarely need each other. If you cannot tell, the test is an evening on your own with nothing to do. Agrimony dreads it. Water Violet has been looking forward to it.
Common questions
Is Water Violet the remedy for introverts?
Not in itself, and being happy alone is not a state in need of a remedy. What Water Violet describes is the point where self-sufficiency has stopped being a preference and become the only setting you have, so you would not ask for help even in a week where it would obviously make things easier.
Where does Centaury fit?
Centaury is the other remedy people confuse with Agrimony, and the difference is motive. Centaury cannot say no because refusing feels impossible. Agrimony agrees in order to keep things pleasant and avoid the confrontation. Both end up saying yes, for different reasons.
Which one if I keep saying I am fine?
Ask what is behind the sentence. If it is true, and you simply do not see why your business should be anybody else's, Water Violet. If something is genuinely worrying you and the cheerfulness is doing a job, Agrimony, and that is the whole picture of it.
Keep narrowing
The pairs closest to this one, if neither of these two turns out to be it.
AgrimonyvsCentaury
Both say yes when they mean no. Agrimony does it to keep the peace and hide what is really going on. Centaury does it because refusing feels impossible.
HollyvsBeech
Holly burns and Beech grates. If there is a person and a feeling with heat in it, that is Holly. If it is everybody and everything and it never quite reaches anger, that is Beech.
ImpatiensvsBeech
Impatiens is irritated by how slowly things move. Beech is irritated by how other people are. One is about speed, the other about habits.
Cherry PlumvsImpatiens
Impatiens snaps. Cherry Plum is afraid of what it might do. If the problem is the temper itself, that is Impatiens. If the problem is that you no longer trust yourself to hold it, that is Cherry Plum.
Still not sure?
Read both profiles in full, or start from the feeling and let the quiz narrow it for you.