Agrimony vs Centaury
Both say yes when they mean no. Agrimony does it to keep the peace and hide what is really going on. Centaury does it because refusing feels impossible.
Centaury
Unable to say no, doing everything for everyone and losing yourself in it
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Why they get muddled
Both sit in Bach's oversensitive group, both are friendly and well liked, and both keep ending up doing things they never wanted to do. The people around them usually have no idea how much effort it takes.
The differences
Why you agreed
Agrimony
To avoid the friction of saying no.
Centaury
Because the no would not come out.
What you are hiding
Agrimony
How you actually feel. There is a cheerful front over the top.
Centaury
Nothing, really. The problem is not concealment, it is not having a boundary.
Being alone
Agrimony
Harder than being busy. Quiet is when it catches up with you.
Centaury
A relief, though your own plans still come last.
What you feel afterwards
Agrimony
Tired of performing.
Centaury
Drained, quietly resentful, and then guilty for the resentment.
Which one to pick
Choose Agrimony if
- You say you are fine when you are nowhere near fine
- You use a joke to steer away from anything difficult
- Quiet moments alone are harder than busy ones
Choose Centaury if
- You agree to things you had no wish to do
- Your own plans always end up last
- One strong personality tends to organize your time
What if both sound right?
The two overlap in real people more than the descriptions suggest, and there is no harm at all in taking both while you work out which one is doing more of the work.
Common questions
Which one is for people pleasing?
Centaury is the closer fit, because it is specifically about the no that will not come. Agrimony is more about the mask, and plenty of Agrimony people can say no perfectly well, they just would rather not have the conversation.
What about someone quiet who genuinely likes their own company?
That is Water Violet, and it is not this pattern at all. Water Violet is self-contained and content, with nothing being hidden and nothing being given away against its will.
Keep narrowing
The pairs closest to this one, if neither of these two turns out to be it.
AgrimonyvsWater Violet
Agrimony is a mask and Water Violet is not. If there is something underneath that you are keeping light, that is Agrimony. If there is nothing underneath and you simply do not share, that is Water Violet.
WalnutvsCentaury
Walnut has decided and Centaury has not. If you made the call and other people's doubts are pulling you back, that is Walnut. If you said yes when you meant no, that is Centaury.
LarchvsPine
Larch doubts what you can do. Pine blames you for what you did. If the feeling is I would not be able to, that is Larch. If it is I should not have, that is Pine.
Crab ApplevsPine
Pine is I did something wrong. Crab Apple is there is something wrong with me. Guilt points at an act. Shame points at you.
Still not sure?
Read both profiles in full, or start from the feeling and let the quiz narrow it for you.