Willow
Bitterness and resentment, the feeling that life has been unfair to you
What it feels like
Other people get the luck. They get the promotion, the easy pregnancy, the parents who helped with a down payment, and you have worked harder than any of them for less. The unfairness is often real, which is what makes this one difficult. You did not imagine it. But the resentment has settled in and started coloring everything, so good news from others tastes sour and offers of help feel like pity. There can be a grim satisfaction in it too, a habit of listing what has gone wrong. Underneath there is usually real disappointment about how things were supposed to go.
Signs you might need it
- You feel life has treated you unfairly
- Other people's good fortune is hard to be pleased about
- You catch yourself listing everything that has gone wrong
- Sympathy feels like pity and you would rather not have it
- You feel resentful rather than sad
- You blame circumstances or people for where you have ended up
What it helps with
The bitterness eases and you get some agency back. Traditionally it is associated with moving from what has been done to you toward what you can do next, which is where most people say the relief actually comes from.
Not to be confused with
Holly, which is a hot feeling aimed at a particular person, jealousy or suspicion. Willow is colder and aimed at life in general. Gorse is hopeless rather than resentful.
For those who have suffered adversity or misfortune and find these difficult to accept, without complaint or resentment, as they judge life much by the success which it brings. They feel that they have not deserved so great a trial, that it was unjust, and they become embittered.
The plant
The golden willow, a waterside tree with yellow winter twigs, cut back hard for generations and always growing again. Willow bends rather than breaks in a flood, which is the quality Bach was pointing at.
How to take it
The usual way is two drops from the stock bottle into a small glass of water, sipped through the day. If you are mixing several remedies, put two drops of each into a 30ml bottle of spring water and take four drops from that, four times a day.
There is no need to time it around meals, and you can take it as often as you like. Most people give it two weeks before deciding whether it is doing anything. The full guide to taking them covers mixing bottles, timing and the alcohol question.
Often mixed up with Willow
Often taken alongside
Blends that include Willow
Combinations mixed for a situation rather than for a person. Each one is shown with the reason Willow is in it.
Common questions
These are about Willow. The questions about the remedies in general, alcohol, children, timing, live in the FAQ.
Is Willow only for people being unreasonable?
No, and that is a common misreading. The unfairness is often genuine. The remedy is for what the resentment starts doing to you once it settles in, not for whether you were right to feel it.
What is the difference between Willow and Holly?
Direction and temperature. Holly is hot and personal, jealousy or suspicion about someone. Willow is cold and general, a sense that life itself has been unfair. They often appear together.
Is Willow hard to recognize in yourself?
It is one of the hardest, because resentment usually feels justified from the inside. A useful test is whether other people's good news lifts you or lands badly.
Not sure Willow is the one?
Choosing works by recognizing yourself in a description, so if this one only half fits, it is worth seeing what else comes up. The quiz narrows all 38 in about a minute, and the despondency and despair group holds the nearest neighbors.
Where to buy Willow
Bach remedies are widely stocked. If you are buying online, check the bottle says Willow and comes in the standard 20ml stock size.
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