Elm vs Oak
Elm is a wobble this week in somebody who normally copes well. Oak is years of pushing on. If the feeling is recent and out of character, it is Elm.
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Why they get muddled
Both are capable people under too much weight, and both are usually the one everybody else leans on. Neither is used to struggling, which is part of why it lands so hard when it comes.
The differences
How long it has gone on
Elm
Recently. Days or weeks, and it feels out of character.
Oak
A long time. Months or years, and it has become normal.
What caused it
Elm
Everything landed at once.
Oak
Nothing in particular. It accumulated.
How you feel about coping
Elm
Suddenly doubting yourself in a role you have handled for years.
Oak
Not doubting anything. You simply do not stop.
What would help
Elm
Perspective, so the list becomes a list again rather than a wall.
Oak
Permission to rest before something forces it on you.
Which one to pick
Choose Elm if
- You are usually the capable one and suddenly cannot cope
- Everything has landed at once
- You cannot decide what to do first because it is all urgent
Choose Oak if
- You have been exhausted for months and carried on anyway
- You only stop when something forces you to
- You are the dependable one and everybody knows it
What if both sound right?
Elm arriving in somebody with a long Oak habit is common, and the two work well together. Elm handles this week, Oak handles the pattern underneath it.
Common questions
How recent does Elm need to be?
There is no rule, but the giveaway is the phrase this is not like me. Elm is a temporary loss of proportion in somebody whose competence is not really in question.
What if I am overwhelmed and it has always been this way?
Then Elm is probably not it. Look at Oak if you are pushing on regardless, or Centaury if the weight is made of things you agreed to and did not want.
Keep narrowing
The pairs closest to this one, if neither of these two turns out to be it.
OakvsOlive
Both are exhausted. Olive has stopped. Oak is still going, and that is the whole problem.
LarchvsPine
Larch doubts what you can do. Pine blames you for what you did. If the feeling is I would not be able to, that is Larch. If it is I should not have, that is Pine.
Crab ApplevsRock Water
Crab Apple is about how you feel about yourself. Rock Water is about the rules you keep. One wants to be clean and the other wants to be good, and they do not answer to the same remedy.
OlivevsHornbeam
Olive is tiredness after the effort. Hornbeam is tiredness before it. If rest genuinely helps, it is Olive. If you feel fine once you get going, it is Hornbeam.
Still not sure?
Read both profiles in full, or start from the feeling and let the quiz narrow it for you.